Is where I want to be.
Going back to college wasn’t really what I expected after 2 weeks, goddamned lecturers are already up in our grills for A2. Yeah, I’m aware A levels isn’t over, but cmon, give us a break will you? We’ve already spent like 10 months preparing for AS, we’d like some time off from that embarrassing excuse of a college which is Taylors.
I’m srsly spiralling, I’ve only been to like four classes so far this week, and I’ve no interest in going at all. The only reason I go to literature is because I don’t want to leave my group mate all alone, which I did today, sorry Vivian, I’ll make it up to you.
I woke up at freakin’ 3 pm today, I hate the feeling of a wasted day, I am wasted, I haven’t even taken a shower yet and its 5:31 pm. Even eating is a chore, why am I so lazy? This isn’t me, I’m better than this. The past 2 weeks we’re indeed 2 weeks of no Morals, too much alcohol and tobacco in my system. And I don’t feel very good and responsible about it. Even my eyesight is getting worse cause I’m spending too much time in front of my laptop.
I’m 19.
19 without a purpose. I need a purpose. I need productivity, a job, a hobby, a band, a holiday, anything.
Every job I’ve looked at, “1 year experience, degree, diploma” yeah I have all those, in the same field, the field of Nothing….
I can’t even call myself a Jack Of All Trades as I’m not even good at the “All Trades”
Twitter Celeb? Far from.
Am I a person worth knowing? Not at the moment, I’m easily forgettable.
I keep wanting wanting wanting, But I’ve received nothing, then again, I haven’t worked for it. I can’t keep leeching off my parents, I’m 19, this is my last teenage year. It’s no wonder my mom treats me like a 14 year old.
If you’ve anything, anything at all that can help me out of this rut, do tell me. I could use all the help I can get.
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